quick thought

There is no -woman equivalent to the phrase "family man."

I am going to start using the phrase "family woman" and see what kind of funny looks I get, then politely ask people to explain to me why it sounds weird.

no longer home

I went to an all women's college. This is important.

I experienced my first year, poli-sci 101, "holy shit, it's all a lie!" political awakening in the wake of 9/11. I do not intend to downplay the significance of that event by using it as a backdrop for my own, nascent sort-of-radicalness, but this is important, too.

And for me, it was backdrop. I wasn't directly affected. I understood the pain and horror of that event the only way one so far removed can - through a lens, through a filter, through as much empathy as one can stand before bleeding from the ears. My awareness was nothing but a faint echo, a shadow, a vague unease.

Campus was quiet. People were slow and sad and lonely and worried and scared. And when the quiet faded, and the rage kicked in, I watched classmates and discussion partners and news outlets turn rabid. My first tears were not for the victims of the attack, but for a hallmate who suggested, on multiple occaisions, that we should "bomb them all" - referring to whom, exactly, I'm not sure - she was just referring to that other, that them.

what do I say? (TW for fat hatred)

My parents just returned yesterday from a week-and-then-some trip to Yellowstone with my maternal grandmother. I picked them up from the airport around 4:30 PM. A few initial pleasantries got us out of the airport, but once we hit the highway, the conversation turned to dinner.

Dad: "What do you want to eat for dinner, Mom?"

Grandmother: "I don't even...all we do is talk about food! Where do you want to go, what do you want, blah blah blah. All we did the whole time was eat and talk about food! I don't want to talk about food."

(Background: My mother and father are fat. I am fat. My grandmother is not. She is one of the very few people in family who are not fat. My mother, her sisters, my cousins - almost everyone except my grandmother is fat.)

My mother is getting that tense thing in the back of her neck. I am driving, and she's in the back seat, but I can feel it, because I do it, too.

why I am not taking any more business classes (part one)

I took this class - "Human Relations" last year. It was one on a list of several business classes I intended to take, knowing that it would please my management and hoping it might grant me more skill in navigating the political minefield that is corporate America. I wrote this right before the class had ended, but I think it bears posting here.

_________________________________________

This textbook, for the record, is a fucking joke. Behold: several of its most ridiculous quotes. I acknowledge that these are taken out of context. Believe me, or don't, when I say that the context doesn't really improve them much.

"Pinstripes may make you appear as though you are trying to imitate male apparel." (141) So might pants, apparently, because they aren't even mentioned as an option.

"Men at work tend to talk to preserve independence and status in an organizational hierarchical social order. Women tend to talk for closeness to develop relationships, in which people seek and give confirmation and support." (160) Well that just about explains everything, doesn't it? Maybe if the women weren't so busy making friends, they could get some damn work done!

"Research supports that women are more emotional than men." (209) No citation, mind you.

"Off and often on the job...men are more willing than women to say directly what is important to them and state their expectations. Women generally trust that the other person will anticipate what's important to them without having to state their expectations." (304)

"Women [should] not date coworkers or other people in their industry, because if they do, they will be viewed as someone's girlfriend rather than a serious businessperson." (568) I find it amusing that here, and throughout the book, the author consistently uses "-person" terms, as if that makes up for the blatant stereotyping and double-standards.

"Women who perceive they will have problems managing solely because of their sex may be creating a self-fulfilling prophecy." (573) Because sexism is dead! Right?

I am, of course, not even getting into the two paragraphs of parenting advice, but I will leave you with this little tidbit:

"So, the question today is not, Will most mothers work outside the home? The question is, Will she leave work to raise children, and if so, for how long?"

Really, is that the question? Silly me. I thought the question was, How the fuck did you get this piece of shit published?

Published in 2008, that is.

Don't grind your teeth like that, gentle reader. It might give you a headache.

Good morning!

I have been rather lax in updating this blog - the best of my ranting seems to get used sitting out on the balcony over cocktails, waiting for the oppressive heat to drain away from the day.

That said, a new post will be up by the end of the week. Thanks to Shakesville, I've had some lovely readers stop by, and I'd love for them to have something else to read.